David Mendelmar, LCSW
Certified Level 3 IFS Therapist
Therapy for trauma, shame, addictive cycles, and painful relationship patterns
If you’re exhausted from carrying this alone—whether it’s addictive behaviors, chronic shame, relational pain, or worry about someone you love—therapy can help reach the deeper places these patterns come from, and begin to create lasting change.
You may be here because…
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you keep finding yourself back in the same painful cycle with substances, food, or other compulsions
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you feel ashamed of behaviors or reactions you can’t seem to stop
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you and your partner keep getting pulled into the same conflict, and you're feeling more and more disconnected
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you’re constantly worried about the behavior of someone you love
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you function well on the outside, but inside feel alone, disconnected, or empty
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you can't shake the feeling that something is fundamentally wrong with you
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you have learned to hide whole parts of yourself out of fear of rejection
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you are desperate for real connection and intimacy
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Often, people arrive here after trying to understand, control, or push through what they’re experiencing, only to find themselves back in the same place.
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Trying on your own and past therapies have not gotten to the deepest places you know your patterns come from. Lasting change and self-acceptance still elude you.
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I specialize in helping clients who need more than insight or coping skills. Grounded in Internal Family Systems (IFS), I help clients understand and transform the deeper emotional patterns beneath their painful cycles.
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Relational. Deep. Alive. At your pace.
How I Work
Therapy with me is about feeling safe enough to be fully seen and to go to the deeper places you may not have been able to reach alone.
I actively guide the healing process while you remain fully at choice in our direction and pacing. Many clients come to me after years of therapy that helped them understand themselves intellectually, but did not help them access the deeper emotional places beneath their painful patterns.
My work is grounded in Internal Family Systems (IFS). Together, we slow down with what is happening inside for you in the moment and begin to gently understand the thoughts, emotions, bodily reactions, and inner conflicts that may have felt overwhelming, frightening, or deeply alone.
Often, the patterns that bring people to therapy—addiction, shame, anxiety, emotional reactivity, relationship struggles, or chronic self-criticism—developed for important reasons. Rather than pushing these parts of you away, we come to know them with curiosity, clarity, and compassion, understanding how they helped you survive pain, fear, loneliness, or shame.
As our work deepens, we move toward the more vulnerable emotional experiences beneath these patterns—the places that have often remained locked away while quietly shaping your life. Throughout this process, we cultivate what IFS calls Self-energy: an embodied sense of calm, clarity, confidence, and inner steadiness.
I show up as a real person in the room—engaged, thoughtful, caring, and actively involved in the work we are doing together. I tailor therapy to what feels most alive and useful for you, and we also pay attention to what unfolds between us in the therapeutic relationship itself.
This is not quick-fix work. It is depth-oriented therapy aimed at lasting change: helping you come out of shame and isolation, feel more grounded in yourself, and shift the patterns affecting your inner life, behavior, and relationships.

About
David Mendelmar

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I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and a Certified, Level 3-trained Internal Family Systems therapist through the IFS Institute. I see clients virtually throughout California and in-person in Davis.
I specialize in working with individuals, couples, and families impacted by trauma, shame, and addictive cycles. My work is informed by advanced training in Intimacy from the Inside Out (IFIO) couples therapy and the Invitation to Change (ITC) approach to helping family members whose loved ones are struggling with substance use and mental health issues. My practice is LGBTQ+ inclusive and neurodiversity-affirming.
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Specializations
I work with adults, adolescents, couples, groups, and families. Clients come to me for treatment of such problems as anxiety, depression, PTSD, grief, relationship struggles, ADHD, procrastination and productivity issues, and life transitions. The following represent select specializations I have developed through focused training, clinical practice, and my personal life experience.



